Wednesday, February 22, 2017

SELF-HONESTY: Where All Healing Begins


(Jack Adam WeberSelf-honesty is the most important kind of honesty because true change and healing cannot happen without it.


Related Know Thyself – How To Be Happy Without Changing Anything But Yourself
Source - Wake Up World

by Jack Adam Weber, February 22nd, 2017

When we are emotionally triggered or challenged by something someone says, logic and honest self-reflection have a hard time sinking in. When in a dispute or disagreement with someone who will not see the facts, and who keeps shooting down your logic, we can feel helpless to get them to reckon with reality.

After years of meditating on this dynamic and trying just about everything to get through someone’s defenses, the best way I know to approach such an impasse is to ask them: “When you vulnerably look into your heart with an honest mind, what truth do you find there?”

The reason for this approach is that no amount of logic is going to get another person (or 99% of folks) to see the light when they have an emotional investment about facts that counters their existing framework of reality. This is called cognitive dissonance: an inability to believe what contradicts current knowledge, often because it’s just too scary to turn one’s world upside down with new knowledge. Few people are willing to be their own skeptic.

Related Psychology of Truth Sharing and Awakening Others with a Personal Anecdote | Now That You’ve Awakened How Do You Awaken Others?

We cannot break through cognitive dissonance with logic, unless someone is willing to address the underlying emotional fear of what causes them to reject what they hear. And, the more you press against this resistance, the more they shut out the only thing that might actually wake them up. This is why the only solution might be to ask them to look honestly into their heart — because only they are able to bypass their defenses.

Yet, the brave, the few, those who have integrity and a soulful hankering for truth — and are willing to suffer to be aligned with reality — will accept discomforting and disorienting cognitive dissonance over the fear of rejecting new truths just because the latter bring up too much fear. Essentially, when we care about the truth more than protecting our worldview, the pain of denying truth is more painful than facing it. And the only thing that makes this pain of denial more painful is one’s internal moral compass. The few, the brave, the integral warriors for truth.

Mind you, this fear of reality that flies in the face of wrong beliefs is usually unconscious in such individuals and manifests as denial, anger, and even violence—all to protect one’s worldview when it’s threatened by inconvenient truth. These are the symptoms of cognitive dissonance. Donald Trump’s “alternative facts” are a fine example of the denial of truth that threatens his fragile ego and narcissistic self-delusion. Kellyanne Conway’s pervasive dodging of questions from interviewers that threaten her with cognitive dissonance is another example. Both are examples of intellectual dishonesty generated by excessive, and likely by underlying emotional insecurity. See Kellyanne debunked and figured out here.



Related Paths to Awakening: Spiritual Activism or Disempowerment | Understanding the Spiritual Causes of Depression

We see that every interviewer gets nowhere with her. This is because she has no interest in being honest or seeing herself clearly. One of the top comments on the video reads:
“She is a very intelligent woman and knows exactly what she is doing. Could other people do what she does? Absolutely, if they had no conscience or had no shame.”
To my mind, the commenter alludes to the lack of awareness and integrity, the emotional denial and lack of self-honesty (“no shame”), it takes to be so manipulative and disrespectful of her interviewers. Imagine if the interviewer asked her: “When you vulnerably look into your heart with an honest mind, what truth do you find there regarding this issue?”

All we can do in the face of dishonesty and denial might be to plant the seed of self-honesty; and if it sprouts, great. If it doesn’t, there is usually no other way to manually sprout self-realization in another person. If it doesn’t sprout, then you have to practice radical self-acceptance and let it go the best you can. And/or, make a video to help relieve your stress.

Self-honesty is the driver of change, evolution, compassion, and peace. So, next time you sense someone just can’t hear your point, ask them the question that fosters self-honesty, and see if you can let it rest at that, because there is likely no other way they will come around:
“When you vulnerably look into your heart with an honest mind, what truth do you find there?”
If they are too angry, defensive, or in denial, the planting of this seed still has the power to stay with them. It will bother the conscience of anyone worth being bothered by the truth, or who in the best version of themselves, is humble, aware, and self-honest enough to see their folly. Of course, one who is afraid of truth will likely not be truly open in heart to be able to self-reflect so emotionally and intellectually honestly. But, it’s all we can do, I think, and in the least damaging and most compassionate way possible.

And, of course, we get to sit with our own self-honesty too. Are we being honest with ourselves… are we denying to hear and to believe what is being shared with us? In a game of egos, it’s the first one to let go their defenses, get vulnerable (if only with themselves), and recognize the truth in that sacred chalice of an open heart and honest mind, united. When we are able to honestly inquire, maybe when we are calm enough, we can ask ourselves:
“When I vulnerably look into my heart, and examine my own thoughts and beliefs, with an honest mind, what truth do I find there?”
If we clear our self-honesty and self-reflection via a clear mind and regulated heart, then we can rest in our own integrity and practice radical acceptance of what another is not able to. Planting the seed of self-reflection and agreeing to disagree is all we can do sometimes. This is because any waking up relies first and foremost on our willingness to be honest with ourselves.

In sum, most healing relies on self-honesty; since fear mediates the degree to which we can be honest, the more we can ride out neurotic fear, the more honest we can be and the more we can heal.

If you enjoyed this article, I wrote a more in-depth article on a similar topic, entitled Spiritual Honesty: Why Good Thinking and Bad Feelings Matter.



The Nourish Practice

Jack Adam Weber’s “The Nourish Practice” is an easy, guided meditation-Qi Gong practice in radical gratitude and self-love. It is an Earth-based, body-centered practice — at once physiological and mythological — that is deeply relaxing and replenishing, especially for modern-day burn-out syndrome, and requires little physical effort. “The Nourish Practice” resets your nervous system and fosters a rich inner life.

You can purchase The Nourish Practice as a CD or Digital Download here.

The first installment in Jack Adam Weber’s new “Emotional Transformation” series, entitled “Healing from Heartbreak”, is also available here — a valuable guide to embodying self-compassion, healing and love.

About the author:

Jack Adam Weber, L.Ac. is a Chinese medicine physician, author, celebrated poet, organic farmer, and activist for body-centered spirituality. He is also the creator of The Nourish Practice, an Earth-based rejuvenation meditation, and Healing from Heartbreak, the first installment in his “Emotional Transformation” series.

Weber is available by phone or online for medical consultations and life-coaching.

You can connect with Jack at:
Website: JackAdamWeber.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/JackAdamWeber
Twitter: Twitter.com/JackAdamWeber
Email: Jack@PoeticHealing.com

_________________________
Stillness in the Storm Editor's note: Did you find a spelling error or grammar mistake? Do you think this article needs a correction or update? Or do you just have some feedback? Send us an email at sitsshow@gmail.comThank you for reading.
________



Source:
________________________________________________________________
Question -- What is the goal of this website? Why do we share different sources of information that sometimes conflicts or might even be considered disinformation? 
Answer -- The primary goal of Stillness in the Storm is to help all people become better truth-seekers in a real-time boots-on-the-ground fashion. This is for the purpose of learning to think critically, discovering the truth from within—not just believing things blindly because it came from an "authority" or credible source. Instead of telling you what the truth is, we share information from many sources so that you can discern it for yourself. We focus on teaching you the tools to become your own authority on the truth, gaining self-mastery, sovereignty, and freedom in the process. We want each of you to become your own leaders and masters of personal discernment, and as such, all information should be vetted, analyzed and discerned at a personal level. We also encourage you to discuss your thoughts in the comments section of this site to engage in a group discernment process. 

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." – Aristotle

The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of Stillness in the Storm, the authors who contribute to it, or those who follow it. 

View and Share our Images
Curious about Stillness in the Storm? 
See our About this blog - Contact Us page.

If it was not for the gallant support of readers, we could not devote so much energy into continuing this blog. We greatly appreciate any support you provide!

We hope you benefit from this not-for-profit site 

It takes hours of work every day to maintain, write, edit, research, illustrate and publish this blog. We have been greatly empowered by our search for the truth, and the work of other researchers. We hope our efforts 
to give back, with this website, helps others in gaining 
knowledge, liberation and empowerment.

"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; 
not going all the way, and not starting." — Buddha

If you find our work of value, consider making a Contribution.
This website is supported by readers like you. 

[Click on Image below to Contribute]
SaveSave

Support Stillness in the Storm

Sign up for Gaia TV

Sign up for Gaia TV
By signing up through this link you also support SITS