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Thursday, August 25, 2016

Remembering Jovan Julian Robles, Co-founder of Stillness in the Storm

Julian and Justin at Superball Phish concert in 2011. 
by Justin Deschamps

On August 25th, 2015, Jovan Julian Robles passed away or transitioned into spirit. He and I founded Stillness in the Storm in March of 2013, after spending several years in deep study and research, learning about the problems we face on our little blue planet.

The Seeking Begins

Julian and I knew that part of the reason we were waking up to so many hidden truths was so that we could play our role in making a difference. He was aware that once we receive knowledge of something, it transforms us, laying the foundation for who we will become. He knew that knowledge gained within the mind empowers us to do something; it gives us the ability to respond.

We were scared by these realizations at first as we didn't feel we had what it took to make a difference. And yet at the same time, we knew in our bones that it was no coincidence we were learning about these things.



Julian was a tender yet passionate man who was tolerant of others until he felt like they overstepped their bounds. Then the warrior in him would come out, and he would defend himself—and others—against tyranny and oppression. He was fond of the Tarot and read the Law of One regularly as well as The Urantia Book. He was always searching for new ways to know himself, and quickly found a love for astrology, numerology, and psychology.

The Fool card in the Tarot is one of the most powerful cards because it is the first step in the journey of soul growth and spiritual attainment, symbolizing a fresh start or moment when anything is possible for the evolving soul. From a cosmic initiation perspective, the truth always humbles us when received fully and at that moment we have one of the greatest chances to remake ourselves for the better. I think deep down Julian was drawn to these topics of cosmic transcendence. It's no coincidence that his personal photography blog was entitled Transcendent Explorer

For Julian and me, the truths we were learning about wiped clean years of programming and beliefs that held us back; we became fools once again and decided to try and become co-creators in our own evolution. Before this point, we were unwitting pawns of the system, giving life to the matrix of control without even realizing it. We knew that if we were going to try and help others find the path, we needed to walk it ourselves.

We knew that sharing information about everything we mustered the courage to do, was an instrumental part of the collective evolution taking place at this time. In our world of secrecy and separation, we knew that living transparent and honest lives, wherein we do our best to actually express the truths we were coming to understand was crucial. We thought this was one of the most important things we could do to fight the paradigm of disempowerment and enslavement running rampant on Earth.

We chose for ourselves to begin a project that was nothing short of monumental. We wanted to change ourselves, and in the process, contribute to the global shift in consciousness in whatever way we could. And we realized that this intention needed to be infused in all areas of our lives. We couldn't preach about servicing others while also trying to maintain selfishness in other areas. We knew that looking in the mirror was going to be hard but a critical step to starting a process of change, both within and without

Trying to Be the Change

In 2014, just under a year after we started the Stillness in the Storm Blog Talk Radio show (hence SITSshow) we decided to sell everything and move to Morocco as a part of an experiment to start an abundant, sustainable community. We didn't know how it was going to work, but we knew that whatever happened it would be a learning experience that we could share with others.

We spent the better part of 2014 in Morocco trying to realize this dream, only to discover it was much more challenging than we thought. There was a small group of inspired people who gathered there with a similar vision of being the change, yet we each were still heavily programmed from years of indoctrination in society. In the end, we were not successful in our goal of creating a sustainable community there, but we did nurture many wonderful relationships.

Julian and Justin atop
Chefchaouen Mountain Morocco.

This boots-on-the-ground experience taught us that we needed more than just a hopeful vision and a positive vibe. We needed to be idealistic, yet pragmatic. To set our aims high but be realistic in making small steps forward. And most important of all, we knew we needed to work together because unity with diversity enables our unique skill sets to blossom.

From Failure Comes Inspiration

In late 2014, while still in Morocco we began a process of reinventing Stillness in the Storm. We knew that developing relationships and rapport with the awakening community is arguably the first and most important step to moving forward in harmony towards a brighter future. We wanted to provide information that the people were yearning for while also offering our insights and perspectives, hopefully improving and expanding on what was presented.

Julian's emotional and creative nature, and his strengths in photography and art, was a good match for my logical and philosophic temperament. For years I didn't think my voice really mattered, and that whatever I could add with my writing was probably already out there somewhere and with fewer errors. Julian helped me realize that our voices do matter and that we shouldn't be afraid to express them. It was Julian who encouraged me to write more, especially regarding the Gaia Portal interpretations, which we started in late 2014.

In early 2015, we started realizing this new vision. I would focus on writing and analysis whereas he would help find good content and produce thought-provoking imagery. We both helped each other to learn our mutual crafts. I began assisting him with his writing on his personal photography blog, and he helped me learn to be more holistic, inclusive and inspiring with my words. With a renewed sense of purpose and the enhanced co-creative dynamic between us, we set out to expand SITS and do our best to service others.

Photo of Julian and Justin in Aouchtam Morocco the day before returning. 

In May of 2015, after spending 15 months in Morocco, we finally returned to the US and settled in the Boston area. For the next three months we continued to pour all our energy into the work, looking for ways to improve the website, produce higher quality content, and give voice to issues and topics that weren't being addressed.

The Day of Transition

In late August, Julian left this world. As I have written about in the past, he died due to pulmonary edema, blood clots in the lungs. Despite our best efforts to heal him naturally, Julian was still struggling to overcome his issues of the past, and food was one of his ways of dealing with the trauma of life. But in addition, the medical system's incompetence played a part. Julian's condition was not properly diagnosed until he was already almost completely overwhelmed by clots in his lungs. In other words, he was one of many victims of medical error. You can read more about that story below.

Related Julian, Co-Founder of SITS, Died from Medical Errors, Now Officially Acknowledge by the Media as the 3rd Leading Cause of Death in US

When Julian died that morning on the 25th of August, 2015, I was thoroughly shaken to my core. Losing someone you're close to is incredibly unsettling. I am not a parent, but I imagine that the pain of losing a child is just as hard, if not more, than losing your partner in life. Little did I know that in death he would give me more than I ever received from him in life.

Let me share that I am no stranger to hardship. I've had to deal with upheaval and personal trauma all my life. I was the kid everyone made fun of during school. I hid from the world for fear that no one could love or accept the real me. I became a drug addict in my late teens and early twenties to deal with the pain of living a double life and coping with the hardships of this world. I had to remake my life completely after I stopped using hardcore drugs in 2004. But when Julian passed, it was arguably the most intense storm I had ever experienced. My whole world was upturned, but almost right away I felt like this was meant to be.

That morning Julian transitioned, I got a call from the hospital that his heart had stopped. I knew in that moment he was gone, but they were keeping his body alive using a heart pump. When I arrived at the hospital, he was lying out on the table in an unconscious state. I never got a chance to say goodbye to him, and I was filled with regret and sadness. After trying to resuscitate him for another 45 minutes, they said he probably wasn't coming back. I got on my knees and took his hand in mine, thinking "if there is anything I can do to bring you back, I will do it. But if this is meant to be, I will find the strength to accept it." At that moment, an image of what felt like Julian enshrouded in white light blazed into my mind. I couldn't see his likeness in the light, but I could feel that it was him. He said to me, wordlessly, "I am not coming back, but I love you, Justin." Upon hearing this, I found the strength to accept the truth, and it immediately gave me solace.



From Darkness Comes Light

For the next few days, I was a complete mess. It was everything I could do not to burst into tears. I felt this powerful sense of loss but at the same time, a part of me knew deep down that Julian wasn't really gone. But this personal realization of his transformation was warring against my social programming about how we are told we should think of death. I knew that I needed to question these beliefs just like all others. At first, I felt guilty that I wasn't maintaining a definition about the experience so as to cause me deep pain and sadness.

We're told at a very early age to fear death because it is the end of life. We're taught that the only proper reaction to loss is sadness and that if we don't feel hurt, we aren't really grieving. And while I most definitely felt these things another part of me felt closer to Julian than I ever felt in life. I was feeling profound sadness yet behind that was a palpable sense of immeasurable joy.

I remember on the second night after he passed, I was playing my guitar and a melody popped into my mind. I started playing with it silently in that quiet space within and it took on a life of its own. I thought to myself, "I wonder if Julian can hear this" and I got the feeling at that moment that he was there with me, holding me like he used to. From then on I started to nurture the idea that he wasn't really gone, never to return. Instead, he had been reborn into spirit and was able to hear my thoughts if I wanted him to. He could listen to the melody like I heard it, and that vision made me feel like our relationship hadn't ended, it just transformed.

Why would I want to continue to feed into the idea of loss and regret when everything I was feeling intuitively was telling me otherwise? Also, there is a wealth of credible research that suggests consciousness survives death. A friend and reader sent me the book Destiny of Souls, which describes a set of anecdotes supplied by a hypnotherapist who did not set out to study the space in between lives. The work presents numerous cases of individuals who remember dying in a past life and then coming back to console their loved ones. In many cases, they will use dreams, visions, feelings, objects of personal importance—essentially anything they can to reach their grieving companion in the flesh. I knew as I read this book that Julian must have done this for me as well.

Over the next few months, I nurtured this idea and started having an inner dialog with him. Working on the blog used to be a collaboration in many respects, but without him here, it was challenging to do everything we normally did together, alone.

So I decided to start speaking to him as if he could hear me, and I started to feel a lot better. I would ask him what he thought about something I had written like if it should be more inspiring or visual. I would ask him what he thought about an image I was making, or what to focus on during an analysis. And I always received something that let me know he was lending his energy to the process and inspiring me from on high. Sometimes I got the feeling he was standing in the room with me, looking over my shoulder like he used to.

At one point I tried to reach out to Julian with my mind and see if I could start a dialog. His voice came to me and said "I am always with you. I am always here. We can talk anytime you want."

But how could I be sure that this voice was really his? How could I know that it wasn't some negative entity trying to use the image of him to distract me from my life path? I couldn't know for sure. So I asked him as much. His voice came back and said "By my deeds, you shall know me. This voice is a fragment of the Julian that you knew who remains here to help you, Justin. It is that part of you that is also a part of him, that element of oneness that came to life through your experiences together. The Julian you knew in life is indeed gone, but from the ashes of that being a new one was born. Julian's spirit continues on in its journey, but because time and space do not bind the spirit, a part of him stays here for you."

Julian tending a bonfire on the beach of Aouchtam Morocco.

At first, I didn't know how to process this. The thought that the Julian I knew was gone forever deeply disturbed me. But another part of me realized that it couldn't be any other way. I remembered that there's only one thing we can be sure of and that's change—and that if I really loved Julian, I had to find a way to feel joy and gratitude for him. I had to be happy that he was on his next journey and if I loved him unselfishly, I wouldn't want to take that away from him. In the midst of this, I began reading a book that has since changed my life, as all truth-seeking tends to do.

The Inner Work Begins Anew

The Children of the Law of One and the Lost Teachings of Atlantis (CLO) entered my life at a time of deep transition at around January 2016.

Just after Julian's death, I was frantically trying to do everything we both did together by myself, and this was taking its toll on me in many ways. I was spending all my waking hours doing the work of the blog, and I felt stressed out as if I wasn't accomplishing anything, despite the fact work was getting done. No matter how hard I tried to complete projects and post information I felt was important, there was always more to do, which made me feel like a failure despite all I was accomplishing.

The CLO is filled with wisdom, but one point in particular stood out with respect to what I was going through at the time. It essentially said that in our desire to help others and do the outer work, we must take care to maintain peace and harmony within, we must stay on the path ourselves as we try to help others find it. If we fail to do this, our efforts to help will be tainted by the disharmonious consciousness we used at the time. We may help a little but it won't be as impactful and we'll have life lessons (karma) mixed in. This was a sobering realization but I knew I was meant to hear it.

I was spending all my time furiously trying to maintain what we started and as a result, my consciousness was not balanced or harmonious. I wasn't completely walking the path anymore, and I seriously needed to reevaluate my life. From January to the present, I made a conscious effort to transform my inner process and refocus my efforts on building inner stillness, peace, and harmony—even if it meant I didn't get as much done as I wanted. In the past, I would force myself to do work and the price was a stressed out worrisome consciousness. Today I have strived to reverse the polarity, so to speak.

Mind you, I am hardly a master or guru. I can describe what enlightenment is and why we should strive for it, but I can't claim to be enlightened myself. I still have a lot of inner work to do. I focus time and energy on building an internal space of tranquility, joy and gratitude—regardless of what is happening around me—and from this place of total acceptance, I do my work. I took a page out of the Rainbow Body Teachings, which says to make every thought a loving thought. Since I started this new way of being, not only have I been able to accomplish more than I had in the past, but I feel better while doing it. Life is just brighter and more inspiring on a daily basis and I no longer feel as if I am a prisoner of circumstance.

Julian's Second Birthday

At the time of this writing, two days before the 25th of August, I no longer feel sadness for Julian. I don't know exactly when I started to envision things this way, but instead of feeling as though he died a year ago, and as such, is forever gone from my earthly eyes, I actually feel like he was reborn. For me, the 25th has become his second birthday, the day when he emerged from the cocoon of the flesh and took flight as a being of spirit. Where he is now, I don't know, but I feel like it is where he is meant to be.

In the end, this experience has renewed my faith in the universe and the eternal process of consciousness evolution that guides all our lives.

Julian standing on "Julian's Rock" near the
woods of Harvard.

When Julian was alive, we learned of Natural Law, the powers of consciousness and the mind, how free will works, and the spiritual nature of reality. And to be sure, we did our best to live these truths to the fullest. But in his passage, he gave me a chance to go even deeper than I had before. I know now that this event wasn't some random tragedy with no meaning whatsoever. It was a gift of growth and evolution, something we may have even planned together in between lives.

Renewed Purpose

My philosophy then, and now, is that everything in life happens for a reason. If we can only open ourselves up to the truth and consider that it is meant to help us grow, we can start to let go of the belief that some things have no meaning—or that the only meaning is negative. I was tempted to define Julian's death as a horrific tragedy, seeing as he could have been saved if only the medical system listened to us. But now I realize that even this was a catalyst for collective healing. Julian left this world in a way that showed us everything is not OK on planet Earth and that we came here to set things right.

Ever since I was a small child, I always felt like my life had a purpose, but through social conditioning, I was told that this is just fantasy. Looking back at Julian's life, it seems like the only logical conclusion to draw is that purpose is the foundation for everything. We lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of life, trying to earn a living and keep up with appearances, all while a profound cosmic drive pushes us to do things we may not fully understand at the moment. I would never have thought at the time that Julian's problems with blood clots were his way of leaving a legacy, but I think it was. I think Julian chose to die in a way that reminded us that we came here to be the change and that everything in life can inspire us to do that—if we let it.

I feel like my purpose in life is to improve myself and share what I've learned so as to help others. I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. And while I forgot about this deep yearning for many years, I feel it stronger now than ever before. If it weren't for all of you who seek truth and change with Julian and me, we would not have been able to accomplish what we have.

I often say we're all in this together, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. There was a time in my life that I felt so alone and scared that death seemed like a good option. But now, I feel kinship and closeness in ways that the average person probably can't comprehend. Admittedly, I hesitate sharing this with all of you because I think some people may feel that I am just trying to pull at their heart strings—that I am just trying to perform for the camera to get more attention and maybe make a little more money.

But I don't do this for money, fame, or adoration.

Much of the content I want to share and write is meant to inspire us to live to the fullest of our potential, which often means focusing on hard truths that no one wants to hear. But I know that these things need to be said because I am receiving these insights from the Universe.

My dear friend and colleague Paul told me a Native American saying, which I think is appropriate for what I've been learning about life over the years. I don't remember exactly how it goes but it's something like: "If you hear a voice, get an idea, or feel inspired to do something, it's because you were meant to do it. If you see an animal hurt and in need of healing, you're meant to help. If you see someone hurting another, you were put there to stop them. If you feel the Earth crying out for help, then you were meant to be the healer."


Looking Back and Moving Forward

In looking back over the past year, I feel like I've been given a cosmic initiation that empowers me to take greater actions. I can't force others stand up to be the change—nor would I want to—but I can do this myself and perhaps it will inspire others to do the same.

In closing, I want to thank you all for playing a part in my life. If it wasn't for each of you reading these words, I couldn't do what I do. I am the student of all of you who are teachers by your mere presence. And I hope that we can continue to get to know each other, find inspiration, and lovingly nurture a co-creative space for healing and upliftment. I have a feeling that the world we're co-creating now is only beginning to become visible. So don't lose heart for an age of brilliance is upon us.

I took some time to upload photos of Julian's life to his photography page. Those are linked below and also can be viewed by clicking directly on the hyperlink, which navigates to Facebook where the images are hosted.

You can read more about Julian's life in the below linked article.

Related A Celebration of Life in Honor of Jovan Julian Robles

Julian's Photos


- Justin

The preceding text is a Stillness in the Storm original creation. Please share freely. 

About The Author

Justin Deschamps is a truth seeker inspired by philosophy and the love of wisdom in all its forms. He was formally trained in physics and psychology, later discovering the spiritual basis of reality and the interconnected nature of all things. He strives to find the path of truth while also walking it himself, sharing what he knows with others so as to facilitate cooperative change for a better future. He is a student of all and a teacher to some. Follow on Twitter @sitsshowFacebook Stillness in the Storm, and steemit @justin-sits.


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